Sunday, April 10, 2011

Polly vs. Nellie

I have no idea what to post, a lot of things but not really anything. I've gotten a lot of anonymous posts lately, attacking my relationship with Michael- saying we won't be happy a few years from now, just give it time- he'll hate you eventually...all deleted because they were posted anonymously.

Whenever I post at someone else's blog, it's always positive- a kind word, congratulations, agreement with the author. It's a reminder of the different types of people in the world- the negative Nellies and the positive Pollies. I'm a positive Polly. I believe in the Golden Rule, to treat others how you wish to be treated and act accordingly.

I've been surprised in the last week over happenings in real life. A co-worker surprised that I would stay at work till 8:00pm working on the next week's schedule because it was Friday and the schedule for next week wasn't done in its entirety. I can't work on it at home, it's only available intranet at work and it's a software program. I promised it would be done by Friday and got side-tracked, nonetheless, everyone needs their schedule.

Another instance was when I said I would come in on my day off for an hour (I'm salary) to help my direct reports. Why is this so shocking? I thought leaders should lead by servant leadership? I can't help it that this fellow leader puts her needs before her team's- or maybe I sacrifice too much?

This has been on my mind this weekend. There are about 7 other people who hold my position in my area, I'm the only one holding a 'training' class for the team for development. I get a lot of "why are you doing that?" and I'm not met with a ton of support when I explain that it helps my team build their skills. I get the shocked look, the deer in the headlights, oh my- glad she's doing it- cause I'm not! ... Is it a bad thing? I choose to believe not because some of team members want to come in on their days off just to attend the class! Sigh.

I don't want to think too hard about this. I don't wish to have negativity ruin something positive- whether it will achieve results- who knows. I'm encouraged just by the fact my team members want it, who cares if others think I'm overachieving?

I really need to consider starting my own business...


  1. Oh,Jessica, people can be so mean. You have a wonderful husband who cares for you and by reading your blog I can see you two have a good, solid, happy relationship. You two are going to grow old together, sitting on the porch watching your grandchildren play =)

  2. I glad that you don't let the negativity get you down. I heard a great quote just tonight. I don't know who said it originally, but the quote is "Happiness is wherever you are, you just need to claim it." I think in any marriage there are days that are less happy than others. But on those days that are less happy, we need to go looking for the happiness and claim it out loud. You go girl!

  3. I will tell you this, Jessica, I was in the process of my divorce when I met John, my husband. His family thought he was crazy to date me, let alone marry me. Sometimes, when we are young, we make bad choices thinking, at the time, they are wonderful choices. When John and I married (not even a year after my divorce) part of me (a very TINY part) worried I might be going down the same path, even though my current path felt nothing like the old one. I was happy. John treated me well and talked to me. He actually wanted to know my opinion on things, not to debate how wrong I was but to discuss life. In eight days, we will be celebrating our fourteenth wedding anniversary. And that tiny voice inside my head has been quiet ever since I said "I do".

    Personally, I wish you and Michael (and your children) all the best in the world! As for your co-workers, we'll see where you are in a few years and compare that to where they are. You're doing great! Don't let your confidence faulter because of others. Stay strong and do what you believe in your heart is best.

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  5. Jess,

    Hi! I have btdt and could have written this post just insert public school teacher and tutoring students as my example. The teachers could not believe that I would tutor kids before and after school five days a week to help them catch up. It made them look bad. They were only required to do it 2 afternoons for 30 minutes each. Some of my kids needed more. I gave it to them as it was my responsibility to educate them and to bring them as far as I was able in the year they were given to me. Several teachers refused to speak to me for the majority of that first year I taught at this school. So sad.

    All that to say, stay strong...but I know you will. No need to say that, huh?! Be encouraged. You are a leader and you are leading well!


  6. wow, I will never understand people leaving anon, mean comments...well, i guess I understand the anon part-they are cowards. Do you know about sitemeter or statcounter? -might let you know if it's the same person, etc.

    much grace and peace to you,


To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.


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