Thursday, September 22, 2011

No Drama Here

My new job is so very different than my previous, the amount of stress alone is a night and day difference. There are plenty of similarities since they are both banks and have similar policies and procedures. I am completely taking a backseat right now and just learning about the company and my co-workers. In simpler words, I'm keeping my mouth shut and my ears open. Lol.

Danny & Camille have received their progress reports, both are doing well. Camille's making As & one B and Danny is struggling a bit in 1st grade and the amount of homework vs. his academic abilities is reaching their limit. I've requested a new Individual Education Plan for him to be done since he will be judged by first grade standards instead of kindergarten.

Camille's favorite class is math even though she's taking dance and piano as well. She's doing well, study skills are what I'm focusing on with her. Danny is reading! WOOO HOOO!!! Granted it's still a struggle but I'm so proud of him and I'm glad we're finally breaking ground in this area. He wants to be lazy and guess at the words based on pictures but I make him sound it out. I also cover the pictures and isolate the word he's trying to read.

We're trucking along here, life has achieved a new balance with my new job and we're all very grateful. Everything is going well. Sort of boring but I'll take doing well and being boring over drama any day.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Their Tech-Savvy Daughter

My parents are not completely out of it, they are mother is 51 and dad is 57. Ever since online banking and anything 'online' has been popular they have both not been interested in participating. They've been afraid of identity theft and other boogie-men like viruses, etc. I understand their stance although I tried to tell them that I had never experienced any problems.

Now, they are ready to join the technology bandwagon. I'm going to Verizon with my mom today to help her pick out her first smartphone. In the last couple of years, she has bought a Mac laptop, iPod and is pretty knowledgeable with those devices due to the computer training classes she took at the Mac Store.  I was very impressed when she made the decision to get a Mac book. But to highlight her charming ignorance of all these technological, she has no idea why there is a regular ABC channel on her cable and a ABCHD channel.

They have both asked me to help them become more technology-savvy and help them streamline their costs. My mom has a car that has SYNC which allows her to use her iPod in her car or cell phone and she's never used it. She wants a iPhone without knowing why, she just likes the idea of having a Mac product since she has the Mac Book and iPod. 

In one conversation, ahem long conversation, they asked about eReaders (Nook, Kindle), online banking, routers, firewalls, DVRs, cell phones vs. landlines, and it goes on. My head is spinning a little but I think it's great that they are ready to embrace what is available. My dad asked me to get him a phone when I take mom today- nothing fancy, no internet, just a phone. Mom wants everything, she loves how I can pull out my phone and do a quick internet search for something. It's neat that I'm able to help them with this...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Curious about Bats

Danny wanted to know what a vampire bat looked like and I told him to go find books on our shelves with b-a-t in the title. Smarty pants who has done nature study a billion times brings back the Petersen field guide on mammals and flips straight to the bat section. Of course, there is not a vampire bat listed. He then grabbed Comstock's Handbook of Nature Study and turned straight to the bat lesson, which was lucky but goodness he impressed me.

Thanks to our homeschooling time, we have a huge library of books on just about any subject and together Danny & I found, Outside and Inside Bats by Sandra Markle on our science shelf.

We spent about 45 minutes talking about bats and exploring the books.
Nature study is ingrained in him and I had one of those warm hearted moments when you know as a parent, you've done something right.

He is curious. He looks to books for answers. He wants to talk and ask questions. He can navigate a field guide.

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.  -Rachel Carson

We spent 3 hours watching two rabbits in our backyard a few days ago. Danny, who cannot sit still for very long, was patient and excited to watch them hop from area to area. He watched through binoculars and told Camille to be very quiet because rabbits ears are long, they can hear us. As I write this, I feel very blessed.

Our Tiled Kitchen

Our kitchen newly tiled! 
We're still working on faceplates and we have molding to still put up 
at the bar near the sink but all in all, we're 98% done! 

 I need a good phone camera is not the best. 
Mental note: add camera to Christmas list.

What I've learned while tiling our kitchen: Patience & communication is vital when tackling a project.
Things do NOT happen they way you THINK they will. DYI is very satisfying! Never underestimate what you can do. Michael and I are much more confident about tiling now- we have no qualms about tackling floors or a later date.

Our dishwasher's motor went out and we had to replace the dishwasher (the cheap one that came with the house)- decibel ratings really matter when selecting a dishwasher. We've gone from a 60 dba to a 52 dba and we barely hear the dishwasher anymore. We also looked for a dishwasher that had 3 full water sprayers: top, middle and bottom.  This website really helped us learn what to look for:

Monday, September 12, 2011

Take this job...

I haven't posted much. When I'm stressed I tend to prioritize my time and blogging gets put to the wayside. The last post I did was in May with today's exception of Tile!

I started looking for another job in May so my online time has been spent exploring job boards and updating my resume. I didn't want to talk about my job because I while it was happening, I didn't want something I said to come back and bite me if I decided to stay. I've found a new job at another bank and I start in a week. I've taken last week and this week off to decompress from all the stress I've been under since last December when I took a new position.

I will be the first to admit, management of others is not easy. No matter how fair you are, no matter how sympathetic, empathetic... others expect to get away with murder and get a 'pass' for everything. If not, you're the big bad wolf. I didn't have a problem with that, although I have new understanding of what 'entitlement' and 'lazy' means beyond generalizations.

I left due to the constant stress and pressure of micromanagement from my leadership team. Coming in to work, know there are 5 tasks to be completed before opening (done correctly the first time helps) and seeing 15 emails all with different asks, different time-frames and 10 of them require a response. 8 of the 10 requiring a response were sent at 6:00pm and require a response within 30-45 minutes. 2 of the 15 are very unclear as to what the person wants and 3 of the emails are going to require 1-2 hours of research to answer.

Then, your manager comes in and asks what you're doing for the day. Will your team perform at this level today? What will you do to ensure they meet their goals? Did you answer that email yet? I need to meet with you later to discuss writing so and so up and did you call the person about this or that yet? What is the status of this? You do realize it's due by 10:00 am today?


My team is coming at me with questions that they could answer themselves but don't want to put forth any more effort than asking me. More than I like, I answer them instead of explaining to them how to get to the answer themselves- *mental note: send email with instructions. Then the answer is, I sent an email with instructions how to do that. Read it and follow it. (Smile).

If I had support, understanding and appreciation from my manager & team- I probably wouldn't have left. I worked for 50-60 hours a week on salary. My manager took 45 days off for medical leave during a major, major project. I took on her role, my role and without much support. Since March, I haven't had an assistant. On top of all that, I was written up myself by my write-up happy manager without much direction on how to improve. I swear, she was the happiest on the days she had someone to write up.Yes, I called HR. I had 3 different cases and I spoke to my District Manager. Unfortunately, all that did insert doubt that I could handle my job. In my last call to HR, they begged me to switch branches, let's talk to your district manager and get you moved. I had had enough and I felt I already reached out to my district manager 2 times in the past 8 months with no favorable results- why try again?

Since May, I've been on 2 interviews and submitted my resume to over 50 jobs. My 2nd interview was my ticket. A job within my field with a solid company whose mission I can align myself with proudly. May to September and I applied to many jobs that I was qualified for!

I'm excited for this new chapter. A whole lot less stress and a more balanced life. I'm furiously loyal and leaving my previous employer was very hard. Even the day I turned my notice in, I was doubting whether I was making the right decision. Today, a week later- I'm relaxed and at ease with life and my decision.

The last thing I want to say on the subject is that the company was not altogether bad, there are many good principles to what they're trying to do but when you mix good principles with bad execution- the end result is ugly. I left the door open to walk back through at a later date, although it would take MAJOR convincing for me to go back.

Onward and happier...


Under our yearly goals, tiling our kitchen back splash was one our most daunting tasks to do this year. We're almost done! Neither Michael or I have ever tiled before and after talking to the pros at Home Depot- we decided to tackle it head on. There is a new product for tile adhesive called SimpleMat and it's a peel and stick application making tiling super easy. After accounting for the total cost, we decided to do it the old-fashioned way with trowel & adhesive. We're going to grout today so I'll load up our final pictures after this post.

Without any tile, our kitchen. Granite countertops with cherry maple cabinets.

Behind the sink done, I didn't think to take pictures until we tackled the hardest part of the project. 
The light is reflecting, it's not as gold/yellow as it appears. More browns, deep golds and browns. 

Our tile from Lowe's website, see how different it looks? My picture shows more detail of the shine and color variations than the stock photo.

We spray painted our faceplates to match the tile. So economical! I originally bought the spray paint to paint a piece of moulding to fit in-between the tile and granite at the sink but this was a fabulous idea from Michael. Gold tone face plates are expensive! $14 per? Pa-cha, one can of spray paint- $6 and recycle faceplates, $0.

This is definitely a 2-3 day project, we'll have it done today but you won't be seeing us on Renovation Realities anytime soon. We have a small kitchen but it seem so much larger now with the tile. Optical illusion, I suppose but we're so happy with it!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I can't keep up.

A Cup of Friendship: A Novel
I'm reading books faster than I can keep track! I only get on here about once a week and I'm reading about 2 books a week. I just finished A Cup of Friendship by Deborah Rodriguez. Now I'm working on Black Out by Lisa Unger. I went to the library online and loaded a few ebooks, I have 21 days to read before they will disappear.

Black Out: A NovelSaving Grace (Harlequin Historical)I met Carolyn Davidson, an author of historic Harlequin novels. I was in shock when she handed me one of her books that I forgot to ask her to sign it! We had been talking and she asked me if I read, "all the time" and she handed me the book. My mind filled with so many questions and then she was wishing me a good day and was gone. URGH! Hopefully I'll see her again and get her to sign it and maybe ask her a few questions.

The school is bleeding me dry, please send money for t-shirt, food for celebration, yearbooks, donations for PTA, etc. I think I might have over-committed myself, hopefully I did tear off all the fill out forms and left the information for myself. Gee, how many times next week did I say I would be at the school?

Camille is going to be touring the middle school she'll be attending next year. She's super excited. Danny is faux-excited that she'll be at another school. He seems excited that he'll be on his own but Momma bear can see that he's a cross between being jealous and afraid that she won't be around.

His birthday is next weekend. They are growing up! He'll be 7 years old and soon he'll be either too cool or too old to sit in my lap. I can't wait to hear his plan for the day. It's our tradition, the birthday person gets to choose what we'll be doing for the day, where we go, what we eat and what we do. We might have to put a dollar limit on the tradition soon, Camille is getting too smart for my own good.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

What's Up

1. 6 mile bike ride with 4 kids (first and last).
2. Mother's Day Cook-Out with tons of family
3. Reading on Nook (love it!)
4. De-Cluttering (on going project)
5. Three (3) Family trips planned for summer
6. A dose of accountability
7. School is almost over...

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Our Weekend

We spent Saturday kid-free with my parents, they graciously cooked us breakfast and then took us to their new camper. My dad is big about toys, he works very hard- always has but when it comes to relaxing, he works just as hard at it. My parents have had a pontoon boat for a while now and the place they store it has a dock, storage for boats and RV campsites. I hope I said that right.

It's amazing! Here's a picture of the inside...

We lounged outside, my dad showed Michael all the features and they talked about ways to make the cable connection better. My mom is on a home-improvement kick and they just tore down the paneling and wallpaper in their living room at home and put up new drywall- all the electronics and furniture to be replaced as well. Well Michael and Dad talked about electronics for an hour or so after we received the tour of the camper. Mom & I enjoyed listening to them, added our five cents worth in where we could and got some sun.

I told Michael I wanted to go Barnes & Noble to get the books on my reading list since BookMooch didn't have the titles available. He said he was tired after our day with my parents and just wanted to relax. Well, I decided to do a little more research about Kindle vs. Nook- I've been thinking about it for a while but felt I couldn't cross over to the ebook side. After reading the reviews (see New Reading List & Nook) - I had to see one in person. Michael, fabulous man he is, sighed and said, let's go.

Christmas 2010 was horrible for us. Michael and I celebrated with the kids only, we didn't do anything for each other because of the nasty custody battle my ex had started. We didn't spend too much, scared we'd need the money for hotels, traveling or whatever costs may arise when you're fighting a custody battle out of state. Our families helped us to get the 4 kids' Christmases and we were grateful. Between Michael and I, we were fine, we didn't need anything and the only thing we wanted was the kids to have a good time and enjoy Christmas.

We told each other that we'd surprise each other throughout the year with gifts (non-monetary and monetary). So far, we've gone to a concert, gotten our individual bicycles, he's gotten a mandoline that cuts tomatoes so thin (he's becoming quite the cook) and we've gotten a few things for the house inside and out. Nothing too crazy. He tried to convince me last year to get a Kindle or Nook. I wouldn't have anything to do with it- loyal to my books.

I did all the research, I asked the Barnes & Noble Nook expert questions to affirm what I had read in the reviews. Before I could blink, Michael told her that we'd get one and told me to pick out a cover for it. He got me the Nook Color, the kids' books feature was the final selling point for him. For me, it was the ease of use vs the Nook, I liked the way the pages looked, the touch screen, etc.

I read a LOT. I read while riding in the car, at lunch when I'm at work, I sit on our front or back porch and read to relax. I sit with Michael while he watches his techie shows and read- if I laugh or gasp, he pauses the tv and asks what's happening. He doesn't like to read but he reads through me- I share the stories I'm reading and he says that he loves it. He prefers comics or graphic novels, lol- I prefer the movies that come from the comics or graphic novels.

I still have about 1000 books on our home shelves, most of them are non-fiction for the kids. I don't keep many books for myself, I read a fiction book and I'm done with it. I only return to my very favorites. I have checked out the same book from the library before, unknowingly until I realize the story is familiar. About 10 pages in, I realize my mistake and get frustrated. I've never kept a reading journal of the books I've read outside of doing a book club. I think I'll make a tag in my LibraryThing library for books I've read. That way I can keep track and review them. I'll have to explore this idea more. I did see a Book Lover's Journal at Barnes & Noble but I would start it and not keep up with it.

I read Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks on my new Nook Color. It took a little getting adjusted to the viewing a screen instead of a page to read but I'm 100% happy. I love the weight of it and my cover makes it seem like a book.

I can even get online with a WiFi connection, which I can at home anywhere in the house. I love that I can share it with the kids, I can't wait to show them the animated children's books that I've read to them a million times on it. I am such a nerd!

Friday, April 29, 2011

A New Reading List & Nook

Water for Elephants
I've read Water for Elephants. The book was great, I'm surprised it was written for NaNoWriMo, albeit the research for the book was done beforehand. I want to see the movie, I do know it's different than the book based on the reviews I've seen.

If you haven't read it, try it. I found it fascinating and didn't want to put it down. I'm now done with all the books on my previously made list and have to create another one. Sigh. It's hard to decide WHAT to read. This time I'm going to use the library's book club help.

Safe HavenAnd surprise, I just read Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks in the last 12 I'll add it to my list here.

I give it 5 stars, as I always do with Mr. Sparks' books. The only way possible to read a 288 page book from 8:00 pm one night to 3:30pm the next day is if it's a great page turner. Within that time, I watched tv with Michael before we went to bed at 10:30 exhausted, cleaned house this morning and I finished the book in-between 1:00-3:30 today.

Barnes & Noble NOOK Color eBook TabletAnd I read it on my new Nook Color from Barnes & Noble. I wasn't sure if I could join the ereader enthusiasts. I love books, the weight, the ability to see how long the story will last by the thickness of the book, the mobility of being able to take my book anywhere. BUT- the idea of being able to take multiple books anywhere, to be able to pick a new book without going to the library or waiting for a book to arrive from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or BookMooch was too tempting.

I read about Kindle Vs. Nook Book at CNET and my favorite, ultimate decision making review was The Chicago SunTimes article that highlighted the features of the Nook so well. The LendMe feature, DRM/ePub universal compatibility. Add in that EBooks have had time to gain popularity- being able to get them from the local library and websites like connect Nook readers together to use the LendMe feature of Nook that Kindle doesn't have.

Open and Shut
Open and Shut by David Rosenfelt
Written with the skill of a veteran, Rosenfelt's debut legal thriller boasts fresh characters, an engaging narrator, and a plot that forces readers to keep flipping the pages. Andy Carpenter, a defense lawyer, takes on a new client: a man on death row, appealing his conviction for the murder of a woman nearly a decade ago. Andy takes the case as a favor to his father, the district attorney who originally prosecuted the inmate. When Andy's father dies, leaving him 22 million dollars and a 35-year-old photograph, Andy has some tough questions to answer. Where did his father get the money? Who are the men in the photograph? And could one of them have some connection with the murder for which Andy's client was convicted? Andy Carpenter is a welcome addition to the lawyer-as-sleuth roster; he's a charming and witty hero whose literary allusions and snarky asides keep us thoroughly entertained. In addition, the present-tense, diary-style narrative voice adds another layer of dramatic tension, because--as he's writing--Andy has no idea what's going to happen next. As soon as readers finish this remarkable first novel, they will begin clamoring for a second Andy Carpenter adventure. David Pitt Copyright © American Library Association.

In the WoodsIn the Woods by Tana French
Rob Ryan and his partner, Cassie Maddox, land the first big murder case of their police careers: a 12-year-old girl has been murdered in the woods adjacent to a Dublin suburb. Twenty years before, two children disappeared in the same woods, and Ryan was found clinging to a tree trunk, his sneakers filled with blood, unable to tell police anything about what happened to his friends. Ryan, although scarred by his experience, employs all his skills in the search for the killer and in hopes that the investigation will also reveal what happened to his childhood friends. In the Woods is a superior novel about cops, murder, memory, relationships, and modern Ireland. The characters of Ryan and Maddox, as well as a handful of others, are vividly developed in this intelligent and beautifully written first novel, and author French relentlessly builds the psychological pressure on Ryan as the investigation lurches onward under the glare of the tabloid media. Equally striking is the picture of contemporary Ireland, booming economically and fixated on the shabbiest aspects of American popular culture. An outstanding debut and a series to watch for procedural fans. Thomas Gaughan Copyright © American Library Association.

The House on Tradd Street
The House on Tradd Street by Karen White
In this engaging novel from Southern novelist White (The Memory of Water), buttoned-up real estate agent Melanie Middleton, lover of order and all things modern, inherits an old house in Charleston, S.C., from a virtual stranger. Melanie can't help seeing the house as a big white elephant, especially regarding the terms; according to the will, Melanie's required to live in the house for a year, restoring it to its former glory, before she can sell so much as a piece of china. But as the house draws the attention (and ulterior motives) of a colorful group of locals, particularly GQ-handsome journalist Jack Trenholm, Melanie finds she has plenty of volunteers to help out. White skillfully balances her tale at the meeting point of romance, mystery and ghost story. The supernatural elements are not played for scares, but instead refine and reveal Melanie's true character; Melanie and Jack flirt with sparkling, snarky energy, but White also digs deeper, giving Melanie a tragic past that's handled with compassion and realism. A fun and satisfying read, this series kickoff should hook a wide audience. (Nov.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Polly vs. Nellie

I have no idea what to post, a lot of things but not really anything. I've gotten a lot of anonymous posts lately, attacking my relationship with Michael- saying we won't be happy a few years from now, just give it time- he'll hate you eventually...all deleted because they were posted anonymously.

Whenever I post at someone else's blog, it's always positive- a kind word, congratulations, agreement with the author. It's a reminder of the different types of people in the world- the negative Nellies and the positive Pollies. I'm a positive Polly. I believe in the Golden Rule, to treat others how you wish to be treated and act accordingly.

I've been surprised in the last week over happenings in real life. A co-worker surprised that I would stay at work till 8:00pm working on the next week's schedule because it was Friday and the schedule for next week wasn't done in its entirety. I can't work on it at home, it's only available intranet at work and it's a software program. I promised it would be done by Friday and got side-tracked, nonetheless, everyone needs their schedule.

Another instance was when I said I would come in on my day off for an hour (I'm salary) to help my direct reports. Why is this so shocking? I thought leaders should lead by servant leadership? I can't help it that this fellow leader puts her needs before her team's- or maybe I sacrifice too much?

This has been on my mind this weekend. There are about 7 other people who hold my position in my area, I'm the only one holding a 'training' class for the team for development. I get a lot of "why are you doing that?" and I'm not met with a ton of support when I explain that it helps my team build their skills. I get the shocked look, the deer in the headlights, oh my- glad she's doing it- cause I'm not! ... Is it a bad thing? I choose to believe not because some of team members want to come in on their days off just to attend the class! Sigh.

I don't want to think too hard about this. I don't wish to have negativity ruin something positive- whether it will achieve results- who knows. I'm encouraged just by the fact my team members want it, who cares if others think I'm overachieving?

I really need to consider starting my own business...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

What's the Matter?

It got home. That is all that matters. It does not matter that the bike was not on the bike rack the correct way. What's important is that it got home. Stop laughing honey. Sorry the bike didn't work out, love you.

Our Family Ride

Of course, taken precariously while riding my own bicycle. 4 Kids, 2 Adults- no one on the trail was safe. We rode down the left side of the path, thinking it would take us to the town park. No. If we had taken the right side of the path, we'd have come to the park, after about 1 hour and half of riding the trail and realizing we went the wrong way, we turned around. When we reached the place we began, the kids wanted to the do the other 3 miles to the park. Hannah was a trooper, she is the shortest with the smallest bike which means she has to pedal double the rest of us- she tired out but kept on pushing. She wanted to go to the park the most but without water (we drank it all)- we headed home instead and let them continue to ride on our street.


Greenville was nice but home is better. 

I met other people with the same job as me, learned a lot and I'm glad to be home. Two weeks away is too long. Getting settled back in...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

A week later

Training has been great, I'm learning the tools and methods I need(ed) desperately. I feel a change coming at work, a positive change. Being gone, living in a hotel room all week feels a little like summer camp. I'm home for the weekend and going back today- yesterday we took the kids on a 6 plus mile bike ride. It was great and relaxing to be outside in the sunshine.

Men's Legacy Schwinn
Michael had gotten me a bicycle from Sears Grand, received a huge discount because a screw was missing from the back fender platform. I rode it Friday evening and had to walk home with a broken bicycle just from riding around our neighborhood- the gears snapped and damaged the entire back tire. I dragged the bike home, loaded it on the bicycle rack and took it back to Sears for an immediate refund. Then I drove to Target to purchase the super-ugly purple paisley Schwinn that was a dream to ride but ugly to look at. I couldn't do it. I got a Men's bicycle instead, a simple Legacy Schwinn.

Nantucket Lightship Tapered basket
I added the Nantucket Bicycle basket ( I did get the exact one) and voila- my new bicycle! It's perfect for me. Not too girly, it feels great riding, especially cruising, perfect for keeping up with the kids. I cannot believe the 7 gear bicycle broke, I blame Michael- he said that he didn't trust the geared bicycles because they have always broken on him. I haven't had that problem, until now and it's because he jinxed me. Lol.

One more week of training and then back to normal life. I really don't want to leave again but I want the training. It's weird to come home, unpack and get into regular routine just to pack and leave again so shortly. I've never had a per Diem or had to worry about filling out an expense report but it's nice to be on a pseudo-vacation with other people in the same position. I've met many others in the same position as myself and  usually we wouldn't be able to spend the time amount of time we're able to. Right now, we're a group of 5 women with a few different add-ons from class as they feel like it. Regardless, every morning the five of us meet to get breakfast and coffee, then lunch and after class...dinner. I don't think I've gotten back to my hotel room before 9pm all week. We're already planning to get together when training is over, for a regular sanity night.

I'm the only one in the group of women who doesn't have marital problems, who actually wants to spend time with her husband. I break off from them to talk to the kids every night and wait until I retire for the night to call Michael to talk. It's different for me to be on this side, I've always been the one who loved being with other women and as far away from my (ex) husband as possible. I try not to talk about Michael or our relationship too much. Who wants to hear how wonderful he is or we are when you're dealing with your own problems? I've been there- hearing how wonderful someone else's relationship is while living in h-e-double hockey sticks. When I heard others talking about their happy relationships: One, I was happy for them. Two, I wondered how much was actually TRUE. Three, it made me depressed to think that their life was normal and my wasn't and there wasn't anything I could DO about it. So then I would just imagine that they are playing it up---making it better than what it actually was.

Back at home, our crepe myrtle is filling with green leaves and we'll have flowers soon.  Our strawberries are doing well and our gardening adventures are yielding beautiful results! The front porch is my new favorite place to be.

Gotta go pack. Again.